孩子通过自律成为自我的创造者。控制性的纪律只会让孩子变得依赖于决定他们价值的大人。为了帮助孩子达到自律，成人需要：
1. 理解获得自律需要自由；
2.明白孩子在自律过程中要经历的阶段；
3.为孩子提供必要和适当的指导；
4.知道如何准备适龄的环境。
父母、老师和其他大人都理解用纪律教育孩子的必要性。纪律尤指成人为了让孩子变得听话而必须采取的行为。基于这样的理解，成人需要保持持续警觉。在孩子们表现好的时候给予奖励，或者为了控制他们的错误想法和冲动行为而施以惩罚。如果大人成功了，那么这些受纪律约束的孩子就会变成有道德、负责任的好公民。
Parents, teachers, and other adults understand the necessity for disciplining children. Discipline typically refers to what adults must do if children are to become obedient. Adults, according to this understanding, must be consistently vigilant. Reward children when they are good. Otherwise, punish children to control their wrongful impulses and desires. If adults are successful, disciplined children should become morally ethical and responsible citizens.
但是，在实践当中，大人掌管一切的方法会有问题。大人们没法始终如一地给予奖励，事实上，这么做会适得其反，因为当孩子的基本需求被满足后，他们就失去了好好表现获得奖励的动力；同样，对于不好的行为，大人们也无法始终如一地给予惩罚，或许这也是桩幸事，因为时间久了，受惩罚的孩子会变得困惑、生气、屈从，自信心和自尊心也会受到伤害。控制性的纪律会让孩子变得依赖于决定他们价值的大人。
In practice, however, the adult-in-control approach is problematic. Adults simply cannot consistently give out rewards. In fact, it is actually counterproductive to do this. Children stop behaving for rewards once their basic needs are fulfilled. Similarly, adults cannot consistently punish bad behavior. Perhaps this is a blessing because over time, punished children become confused and angry. They become passively compliant, and their self-confidence and self-esteem suffers. Discipline as control leads children to become co-dependent on others who decide their worth.
另一种观点是将孩子的自律看作一种成就。大人们习惯这么说：我的纪律在起作用了；我的纪律是艺术，是科学；多年的学习和实践才能形成纪律。高超的匠人懂得运用纪律标准，他们会革新和创造新的实践和纪律方法。
An alternative is to recognize discipline as an achievement. Adults used to say, for example, my discipline is woodworking; my discipline is the arts or science. Years of study and practice are required to achieve a discipline. A master craftsperson is someone who knows and implements the standard practices of her or his discipline. A master craftsperson can innovate and create new practices and new disciplines.
在这种观点中，我们理解孩子不断处于一个自我创造的过程，也就是说，变得自律是孩子的一种个人成就，就像学会说话和走路，发展协调的动作技能和理解能力，掌握社交和懂得奉献也是孩子取得的个人成就一样。玛丽亚·蒙特梭利认为：孩子们通过自律成为自我的创造者。
In this view, we understand children engage constantly in self-creation. That is, becoming disciplined is a child's personal accomplishment. So too are learning to speak and walk, developing coordinated movements and comprehension, and being able to socialize and contribute. The Italian physician and educator Dr. Maria Montessori (1870-1952) held children in high esteem as creators of themselves through self discipline.
“（孩子）有能力发展成为完整的人，他将自己创造成能在环境中自我定位的人。没有语言，他学会说话；没有智力，他构建智力；他通过协调自己的动作来学会走路；他变得对事情感兴趣。没有什么是本来就存在的，一切都是他自己构建的，在孩子身上我们看到了创造的神奇和不可思议之处。”
"[The child] has the power to develop everything which is man. He creates a being who can orient himself in the environment. Without language, he learns to speak; without intelligence, he constructs it; he coordinates his movements and learns to walk; he becomes interested in things. Nothing existed. Everything has been constructed by him. In him we are confronted by the mysterious, miraculous fact of creation."
这项“神奇的、不可思议的创造”是每个孩子自我发展的内在计划，是他们成长的驱动力。令人惊讶的是，没有两个孩子会有同样的成长轨迹或是同样的发展节奏，每个孩子都是独一无二的。但是，孩子们不会有意识地认识自我，他们还不会明确地表达自己的需求。蒙特梭利将这些称作是孩子的“秘密”，这个秘密是“他们自我成长的原则，他们无法将其解释给他人……” 去适当地培养和指导对自己的内在成长计划无意识的孩子。在这种理念中，纪律不是管教，我们不“管教”孩子，它是一种成就，是孩子开心地呼喊“我能做到”的独立宣言。
The "mysterious, miraculous fact of creation" is each child's inner plan of self-development which propels them to become adults. Remarkably, no two children develop in the same way or in the same time; each child is unique. However, children are not consciously aware of themselves; they are unable to articulate their inner needs. These are, Montessori wrote, the child's "secret". This secret "is the principle of their own growth which they cannot possibly explain to anyone ...." to appropriately nurture and guide the child who is never conscious of her or his inner plan for growth. Discipline in this understanding is not a verb. We do not discipline children. Discipline is an achievement; discipline is a celebration of independence heard in the joyful cry of the child who proclaims, "I can do it!"
孩子们自然而然地工作，不断努力变得自律。孩子和成人的工作目的不同，他们以过程为导向，是一个完善自己，通过不断成长蜕变的过程；成人工作则是为了生产，实现外部目的，成人是以产出和结果为导向的。工作会让孩子充满活力。蒙特梭利发现，孩子不同于成人，他们会在工作中变得精神焕发。
Children work naturally and unceasingly to become self-disciplined. A child's purposes for work differ from those of an adult. The child is oriented to process, to the process of perfecting themselves and becoming an adult through constant growth. Adults work to produce and accomplish external purposes; adults are product- or result-oriented. A child is energized by work; unlike an adult, Montessori discovered, a child is refreshed by work.
“孩子拥有一种不同于成人的驱动力。成人总是会受外部动机的驱动，这些需要他的奋力付出和做出牺牲……孩子则不同，他们不会因为费力做事而感到厌烦。孩子们通过工作来获得成长，所产生的结果是，他的工作会增加他的活力。”
"A child possesses a driving force that is different from that of an adult. The adult always acts for some external motive that demands his strenuous efforts and arduous sacrifices .... A child, on the other hand, does not become weary with toil. He grows by working and, as a consequence, his work increases his energy."
从孩子开始协调他们的动作时，自律就开始了。起初，孩子的动作可能缺乏协调性。然后，随着时间的推移，经过不断努力练习，孩子的动作会变得协调起来。自律是一种自我动作和欲望控制能力形成的结果。协调也能发展有意识的智力。孩子们变得自律的同时，也会变得更有能力，更有教养。
Discipline begins when children start to coordinate their movements. At first a child's movements may lack coordination. Then, in time, and after tremendous repetition, the child's movements become coordinated. Discipline is a result of an emerging ability to self-control movement and desire. Coordination also develops conscious intelligence. Children become more capable and educated as they become self-disciplined.
变得自律需要成人的支持和协助。而成人需要掌握新的知识和技能才能实现这个目标。为此，成人必须：
Becoming self-disciplined requires supportand assistance from adults who may need to obtain new knowledge and skills. With respect to discipline, adults should:
1. 理解获得自律需要自由；
2. 明白孩子在变得自律的过程中要经历的阶段；
3. 为孩子提供必要和适当的指导；
4. 知道如何准备适龄的环境。
1. Understand achieving discipline requires freedom;
2. Recognize the stages children grow through as they become disciplined;
3. Offer children necessary and appropriate guidance；
4. Know how to prepare age-appropriate environments.
1
纪律和自由
Discipline and Freedom
神奇的是，为了获得真正的自由，纪律是必须的。自由不是指一个人想干什么就干什么，或是想什么时候干什么就干什么，自由不能被给予，因为它不是一种特权。相反，自由需要纪律。有了法律和规则，才有自由的存在。纪律让人遵守法律和规则，是自由存在的必要条件。
Curiously, discipline is necessary for true freedom. Freedom is not doing whatever, and whenever, one feels like doing. Freedom cannot be given because freedom is not a privilege. Instead, freedom requires discipline. Freedom can only occur within laws and limits. Freedom requires discipline. Discipline, acting obediently with respect to laws and limits, is a necessary condition of freedom.
“当一个人能掌控自己的时候，我就能说这个个体是实现了自律的人。因此，他能调整自己的行为，遵守人生的规则。这种动态纪律的概念不是那么容易理解或运用的。但是，这肯定包含了一些教育的原则，不同于旧时代绝对的、不容讨论的强制不变。”
"We call an individual disciplined when he is master ofhimself, and can, therefore, regulate his own conduct when it shall be necessary to follow some rule of life. Such a concept of active discipline is not easy either to comprehend or apply. But certainly it contains a great educational principle, very different for the old-time absolute and undiscussed coercion toimmobility."
为了让孩子获得自律，成人就必须为他们设定规则。然后，孩子可以在规则范围内努力发展自律。不受限制的行为会产生可怕的后果。确切地说，孩子们在建立内心的控制力时会经历一番挣扎。除了规则，孩子还需要尊重。我们尊重每个孩子的独特能力和潜能。就像蒙特梭利说的：这就需要我们理解孩子只有通过自律才能实现自己独特的能力和潜能。
If children are to achieve self-discipline, the adults in their lives must define and maintain limits. Children can then work to develop self-discipline within the context of limits. The consequences of behaving without limits are dire; specifically, children will struggle to evolve inner control. In addition to limits, children require respect. We can respect each child's unique capabilities and potentials. And this requires, Montessori wrote, that we understand that children must become disciplined if they are to fulfill their unique capabilities and potentials.
“那么，完成后，我们会看到什么呢？”当我们看到人类顺从地实现了让其获得自由的和谐，我们看到这个过程充满了喜悦……快乐可以被看作是和谐的普遍标志，它可以告诉我们，我们正走在通往自由的道路上——例如，教育孩子就是这样的一个过程。”
"And what do we see once all that is accomplished? When we see humanity realizing obediently the harmony that renders it free, we see it is full of joy .... Joy can be seen as a universal sign of harmony, and it may show us that we are on the road to freedom - for example, with regard to the child we would like to educate."
当我们利用错误的经验教训教导孩子时，自由就开始了。我们通过展示或树立榜样来做到最好。对待物品，孩子们不能任着性子想怎么玩就怎么玩。他们不能在房间里乱扔、乱跑、乱叫、乱推或是伤害他人。所以，我们需要为孩子展示什么是正确的行为，包括：为孩子示范如何照顾自己、如何关心他人、怎么使用教具，甚至还包括如何照顾家庭、学校和其他环境。
Freedom begins when we teach children right from wrong. We do this best by showing or modeling. Children are not at liberty to use objects however they please. They may not throw, run through a room, scream, push, or hurt others. Instead, we must show children how to appropriately behave, and this should include showing children how to care for themselves, care for others, use the materials, and even how to care for home, school, and other environments.
2
阶段：变得自律
Stages: Becoming Self-Disciplined
孩子们需要经历不同的阶段才能走向自律。刚开始，他们的动作还处在无序阶段，他们会挣扎着将注意力放在正在进行的活动上；他们可能会三分钟热度，从一个活动很快换到另一个活动。这时孩子很容易被分心，他们被内心的冲动支配着，一旦听到或是看到一些事情，就立即想要去做。但是，这一天是会到来的：在这一天，幼小的他发现了一个活动，并且觉得自己无论如何也得去做这个活动。这个时候，孩子变得着迷了，不得不去探索。孩子的动作放慢了，并且变得不那么随意了。孩子们能集中注意力的时候，他们自然而然就能探索某个物品或事件了。孩子通过实物思考，大人通过言语进行思考。孩子们通过物品来发展记忆，理解力和推理能力。
Children grow through stages to achieve discipline. At first the movements of very young children are disorderly. They may struggle initially to focus and direct their attention to their activities. They may move from one activity to the next with perhaps a passing interest. These children distract easily; their impulses command. They hear or see something, and they want that. A day does come, however, when a young child finds a particular activity that she or he becomes compelled to work with. The child becomes captivated and has to investigate and explore the objects. The child's movements slow and become less random. When children can focus their attention, they naturally explore objects. A child thinks with objects; an adult thinks with words. Children use objects to develop memory, comprehension, and reasoning.
对一个活动的浓厚兴趣会激发孩子对其他很多活动的兴趣。这时，孩子们在工作的过程中会涉及大量的重复，当然也需要精力集中。在这个阶段，孩子们操作的物品必须精心制作。在每次重复的过程中，孩子们会从教具中找到感知上的不同之处，会发现模式和其中的关系，如：大小、颜色、形状、数字或文字。他们理解差异、模式和关系的过程，也是发展智力的过程。
Profound and deep interest in one activity leads the child to take interest in many other activities. The child now works with considerable repetition and with concentration. At this stage, the objects children use must be carefully crafted. With each repetition children discover in the materials perceptual distinctions, patterns, and relationships such as size, color,shape, number, or letter. Intelligence develops as distinctions, patterns, and relationships become understood.
一段时间后，孩子的动作就变得越来越协调和精确。自律驱动着孩子进行探究和学习。这存在很多的焦点和有目的的动作。注意力集中的时间长了后，孩子就会变得平和而快乐，他们不会感到疲惫。相反，他们会安静而精力充沛，你能看出孩子不再具有攻击性，也没有明显的或是隐藏的敌意，他们很宽容、很有礼貌。孩子变得自律，有了自立的能力。
In time the child's movements become increasingly coordinated andrefined, the acquisition of self-discipline enables the child to engage ininquiry, in learning. There is tremendous focus and with purposeful movements. After long periods of concentration, children become peaceful and pleased. They are not fatigued. Instead, children are clam and invigorated. There is a noted absence of aggression and covert or overt hostility. They are kind and courteous. The child has acquired discipline; the child is capable of self-reliance.
3
适当的成人指导
Appropriate Adult Guidance
孩子要自律，就需要大人们停止将自己的意愿强加于孩子身上。蒙特梭利发现，被支配和屈从于大人的权威会导致不完美的发展。
The child's achievement of discipline requires adults refrain from imposing their will over children. Domination and submission to authority, Montessori discovered, result with an imperfect development.
“自由包括将孩子从成人的影响和依赖关系中解放出来，这种依赖极大地影响了他们的创造。为了给孩子自由，我们必须将他们从成人直接的影响中脱离出来，让他们自发地获得遵循内在的本性。”
"Freedom consists of liberating children from adult influence and their dependence on the bond which has the greatest influence upon creation. To give children freedom we must free them from the direct adult influence in order that they may be spontaneously free with regard to the laws of their inner nature."
自律的孩子有着一些共同的特征：他们的动作有序；他们也更喜欢有秩序的环境；他们热爱现实；他们保持着平和的喜悦；他们能做到坚持、独立和主动。自律的孩子会少一些被动，他们会更有兴趣去弄明白事物是如何工作的，而不是去占有。他们能仔细、小心地对待物品。
Self-disciplined children share certain characteristics. Their movements are ordered, and they tend to prefer orderly environments. They are attached to reality. They are quietly cheerful. They are persistent, and they are both independent and filled with initiative. Self-disciplined children become less possessive. They become more interested in understanding how something works instead of having to possess it. They treat objects carefully and delicately.
成人的角色是提供帮助和指导，他们为孩子展示要如何自己做。为了达到这个目标，成人也需要理解如何为孩子们准备环境。
The role of the adult is to assist and guide. They show children how to do for themselves. To do this, adults must also understand how to prepare an environment for children.
4
准备好的环境
The Prepared Environment
一个准备好的环境能取代成人的掌控。准备好的环境是为孩子服务的，可以是家里的一间或是更多的房间，可以是户外的空间，也可以是一间教室或是一个学校。
A prepared environment replaces adult control. The prepared environment is established for the children, and it may occupy one or more rooms in the home, the outdoors, or a classroom at a school.
一个准备好的环境能提供许多适龄的、有意义的学习材料和活动。不管是在家里还是学校，这些都是以非常有序、非常有组织的形式呈现的。每个活动都有自己的篮子或盘子，整齐地排列在开放的架子上。因为孩子们通过物品来思考，成人必须克制通过口头表达来给予解释、命令、激励和奖励，因为这些会阻碍孩子实现内在目的的发展。但是，成人必须设置一些基本的行为规则，如：不能乱跑、用完材料后必须物归原位。
The prepared environment offers a number of age appropriate and meaningful learning materials and activities. At home, or in a school, these are presented in an orderly and organized manner. Each activity has its own basket or tray, and these are neatly arrayed on open shelves. Because children think with objects, adults must refrain from lengthy verbal explanations, directions,motivations, and rewards. Instead, these thwart children's intentions for purposeful development. However, adults do need to provide limits in the form of behavioral ground rules such as do not run or return materials to theirplaces on shelves.
一个提供协助的成人会向孩子展示如何使用教具。为孩子展示操作的过程，这既是在教孩子一个特定的概念或技能，也是在为孩子展示如何独立地挑选和使用材料。这样，孩子就能自由探索和探究教具，以满足个人的兴趣和发展需求。孩子们自由地挑选这些活动的时候，也在锻炼做决策的能力。随着孩子的成长和兴趣的发展，新的活动逐渐会取代旧的活动。
An assisting adult shows children how to use the materials. The presentation is a lesson which both teaches the child a concept or skill and shows the child how to independently choose and use the materials. This allows children to then freely explore and investigate the materials to satisfy their personalinterests and needs. When children freely choose their activities, they also evolve their ability to make decisions. New activities replace older ones as children grow and their interests evolve.
有了做选择的过程，孩子们的发展就更完整。选择不是随意的，也不是变化无常的。孩子们会选择那些能满足他们内心需求和学习目的的活动，孩子们会选择自律。获得了自律的孩子会表现出更强的毅力。孩子第一次集中注意力的时候，他们会重复使用这个教具，长此以往，重复就成了一种完成自发活动的习惯。
Children develop more completely when they make choices. A choice is neither random nor capricious. Children seek to choose activities that satisfy their inner needs and learning purposes. Children choose discipline. Children who have achieved discipline demonstrate a tremendous ability for perseverance. When children first concentrate, they use a material repeatedly. In time, repetition becomes a habit of completing self-initiated activity.
自律是一个出发点，拥有自律的孩子渴望成为一个完整的人，这也是适龄的，在小学阶段，孩子会自然而然地想要知道所有事情，而到了青春期，孩子自然而然就想要做一些产生社会效应的经济决定。
Acquired self-discipline is a point of departure. The selfdisciplined child desires to become a complete person. This too is age appropriate. During the elementary school years, children naturally want to know everything. During the adolescent years, children naturally want to make economic decisions that lead to social contributions.
作者简介
Dr. Paul Epstein
儿童之家国际蒙特梭利培训中心总监、Etonkids蒙特梭利教师培训学院讲师
KAIMC Director, EMTTA Instructor
Paul Epstein 博士是一位著名的蒙特梭利教育专家和国际演讲人。在蒙特梭利教育领域，从事管理、教学、研究、咨询服务和写作等工作。曾任罗切斯特蒙特梭利学院校长，特兰西瓦尼亚大学副教授和西北大学兼职教授。他向教育工作者和家长们分享具有改革意义的学习经验与方法。他很感激自己的工作能提供大量的机会去观察孩子与家长，这些经历也激发了他无限的灵感，帮助他积累了丰富的经验和素材，他的目标是将自己的教育经验分享给更多人，帮助老师和家长完善学习环境。
Dr. Paul Epstein is an international speaker and Montessori Education Expert. He works in Montessori education as an administrator, teacher, researcher, consultant, and author. He was Head of School of the Rochester Montessori School, an associate professor at Transylvania University, and adjunct professor at Northwestern University. He provides transformative learning experiences to educators and parents. He is grateful that his work offers tremendous opportunities to observe children and adults as they learn. These experiences provide him with both inspiration and data to share, engage, and help teachers and parents. Paul's goal is to help them bring about transformative learning in their environments.
